A Weekend of NYC Art Farting Fun

Obviously it has been ages since I last visited and much has changed. Brooklyn is actually nice, using the subway is not nearly as sketchy anymore, and I didn’t get tired or hate everything as much as I thought I would.

It was a horrible drive thanks to an EVIL pre-made wrap I purchased from Trader Joe’s that made me feel like Alien was going to burn from my abdomen, and the rest stop that I thought smelled like 1976 Michigan. But thankfully, Knitgrrl likes driving, and we came to discover we would be getting our very own apartment in Park Slope! Our hosts (old dear family friends) had a landlady out of town, they even put in hotel shampoos and white fuzzy bathrobes that Rachel Zoe would approve of.

We even got fabulous breakfasts on vintage dishware.

I got to catch up with an old friend Lon from CalArts. We hadn’t seen each other in 11 years! He says I look the same, I bed to differ, but I’ll take it.

I got to meet a bunch of new “internet friends” and spent much time doing gallery hoping and eating at some adorable little restaurants. Also, Williamsburg? I do not like. It smacks of effort in a way I just don’t find endearing. The sea of men in black hoodies and tight black pants was too much. There was a uniform going on, clearly. I saw small dogs with black hoodies even! Also ladies I must tell you that wearing black tights alone does not count as pants! Put on some pants or wear a skirt! Williamsburg: The Land of No Pants. This is how I will always remember it.

What hasn’t changed is the horrible traffic! We went around with the adorable Edith Lebeau and her man Joss; taking the subway in my condition wasn’t as terrible as a I thought and I found it more pleasant than the Boston subways oddly (it was good practice for my upcoming trip to Dublin in that I got shin splints in the bad leg!). Of course no trip on the subway for me is complete until I get shoved, or a homeless man asks for my phone number — check! We hit up the book signing Shannon had at Knitty City, as well as Alix Sloan Fine Art to see Jonathan Viner + Elizabeth McGrath, Arcadia Gallery, and Bold Hype Gallery for Quentin vs. Cohen in which Edith had a piece.

some of the Jonathan Viner works…

Liz McGrath…

Arcadia artists

love these tiny graphite drawings.

A huge Jeremy Lipking…

leave it to Shannon to find the gallery dog…

Edith next to her portrait of GoGo from “Kill Bill Vol 1” at Bold Hype.

love these by Tatania Suarez and Ewelina Ferruso…

We also had to cruise around in traffic blasting “New Jack Hustler”. Because I said so!

Then it was time for the Cotton Candy Machine opening hosted by the fabulous Tara. People had lined up the night before to get first pick on artwork! The line was insane, and even I got the boot at one point because capacity was just too much. It was fun, controlled chaos, and very interesting to friends who come from the old gallery system.

I got to meet Eric White finally (another Ann Arborite) who I’ve been a fan of for years, MTV interviewed me I think too; I stupidly wore high heels so I worked through the pain and was a little woozy by this time. I also got to meet Heidi too, who has some more photos up on her blog. So many others I wanted to meet but I was about to fall over not to mention it was hard to tell who was in line.

David Miretsky — whose work my family has collected for decades — came for the show was amazed, “you’d never see anything like this in Chelsea ever!” He waited in the store for an hour to buy my painting, he found the process fascinating. He gave me painting lessons a few times when I was very wee.

The next day Shannon had a class at Brooklyn General, an adorable store, full with a Giant Squirrel!

My husband said he was going to make tiny cheeseburgers for our cats while I was gone, so, you know…

We also hit up Dr. Sketchy’s during the Dr. Who theme.

I hadn’t seen Molly since Art Basel ’09, and missed her at Cotton Candy Machine, so it was good to see her a bit and meet John Leavitt.

It was a great event. I met a lot of people in the few hours I was there who were pretty awesome, including a fashion designer names Justina who also had a bizarre situation like mine where she needs a cane too! We are fellow fab gimpsters — we’re making it a trend. See…

The next day we decided to go out hitting a high brow note. Park Avenue — baby! Actually, growing up all of my trips to NYC involved the area surrounding Park and Madison. It was only when I started to visit my older brother during his time in grad school that I saw the “other” parts of New York that were a little more real.

Why does the old Astoria look so gross?

Hi Mr. Vanderbilt! I like your house in Newport — it is swell.

What the hell are these? Man they are tacky!

I really wish I could have taken photos at the Neue Galerie, but alas you are not allowed. I got to see many Klimt pieces, as well as old films and such from this exhibition. Only downside of Neue? Their guards would not leave me alone! Seriously, in one small room the guard was 5 steps behind me at any given time. What did they think I was going to do? Whack the reproduction Freud couch with my cane?

No trip to Park Avenue is complete without stocking up on treats for the car ride home. It was hilarious, a line of 9 year-olds were buying sushi for lunch.

Clearly things were falling apart at home and I was needed, so we left a day early. I guess I never noticed I-80 has a lot of farm houses that have what look like killing sheds in the back yard. You know they are killing sheds, because they aren’t nice enough to actually get used as a tool shed. Shannon and I also surmised that if hell is real, it is in Kyleville, Pennsylvania. In fact, our hell would be being the clerk at the Sunoco station in Kyleville. Trust me — you don’t want to know!

It has been almost 20 years since I last really listened to this album, but you know what I discovered is the most awesome long-distance driving music ever? Front 242! I dunno why this only occurred to me now…

6 thoughts on “A Weekend of NYC Art Farting Fun”

  1. Wow, great to see all those pictures and the little bits of text were fun to read. Looks like you had a great time–I’m jealous!!

  2. haha Williamsburg The Land of No Pants…that’s too funny. It was my first time going to that area. I don’t like it either. Glad to hear you and Shannon had a fantastic time in NYC. That apartment you stayed in was so cozy. Nice!

  3. Looks like you 2 had a fabulous time! I also saw those tacky flower sculptures while I was there last month and thought the same thing. Ugh.
    Love the tiny burger.

  4. Good thing that apartment was vacant. It was like a home away from home (with hotel soaps and shampoos). LOL. I love those vintage dinner ware. Don’t see them around much but its nice to eat in those vintage wares.

  5. Ugh I forgot all about this event 😦
    I totally could have been there. So sorry I missed you! Looks like it was very successful though. You look fabulous. Your hair KILLS me. Williamsburg is gross, and the majority of people who live there are unbearable. At least they all flock to the same place which can be avoided.

    1. Also, what was up with all the elastic waistband belts I was seeing on dresses everywhere? The 80s need to go away, not come back!

      Lisa, we probably would have missed each other at the opening (I missed seeing a ton of people) but I should have gotten your info to make plans before we left — duh! I totally forgot. But the show is up thru the end of the month for anyone who wants to see it; some really nice little tiny paintings and drawings in it.

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