Victoria Beckham Killed My Sex!

So I’m kinda drunk at the local drug store buying candy with my husband — because chocolate after a bad night at the British themed yuppie bar that annoyed us greatly — well, it sounded good. While in the check-out, I notice on display the Beckham’s perfumes, $34.00 a pop, and you can get a free spritz. Had I been sober, I would have run the other way, but no, I wanted to know what the heck Victoria considered of her taste to market to the American people:

“Why is this different from any other celebrity fragrance? The fact that we have spent a lot of time checking all the details,” said Victoria to WWD. “We are not just saying, ‘We are celebrities, put our name on it.’ I love to be involved with the whole process.”


Um, yeah. Whatever bitch. I get in line after one little spritz of her crap on my wrist,
“Ewwww what the hell is that smell, oh baby that is Nasty, get away from me!” my husband says. Oh and in the car, “Gawd, that shit smells awful!” and in the elevator up to our apartment, “Gah, baby wash that off it stinks! Why did you put that on?”

So thank you Victoria Beckham! I was all ready and looking forward to a Saturday night of extended lovin’ (totally TMI but yes I shaved everything and had my cute underwear on) and my husband won’t even go near me thanks to YOU ruining my night of potential hot sex with your putrid stink of a drug store perfume. False advertising at its height. I tried washing it off….it won’t come off!

If I ever meet you in person Miss Posh Spice, I won’t think twice before punching you in the cooter.