Dirty Harry, I Am Not

Finally after all of the years of people telling me, “if you want to go shooting, just let me know” and then flaking on me: it happened, and I finally went shooting!

Friends Derek and Shannon decided we should have adventure day out on the far west side of Cleveland, taking with us what I called, “a gun buffet” of three hand guns with no safety on them: a 9mm Glock, .38 Special, and a .44 Magnum. Shannon and I actually went with a basket to the store and bought the bullets — it was quite enlightening. I witnessed firsthand some bangers getting shown a few small pieces. Judging by the one womans tattoos, she was not in need of a small firearm to fit in her purse because she just needed to feel safe. I think she was getting it for someone else. Oh America.

Anyways. In all the 8 years I have been here, yesterday was my first time to ever visit the city of Lorain. Remember when I told you about Youngstown? Well, Lorain is so much worse. Even the unemployment office was empty and looked looted. Really, the whole town looks like the zombie apocalypse happened. Don’t ever go there. Unless you want to shoot at an indoor range.

I’ll admit the experience was a bit scary in that all of these pieces had no safety, and could go off, but I had a nice little tutorial before we went anywhere. The kick is hard to control, but I did well in the beginning because I wasn’t over-thinking things. The 38 is my gun; I like it and it likes me. Old fashioned, smokey, and explosive.

The 9mm, I was “eh” about except for the fact it could hold 16 rounds. The 44 had a scope on it which made aiming super easy, but dangit, that thing is too loud and heavy for me and my dainty little wrists. I only took a couple shots (good ones at least) before putting it down and said, “this is a gun for a man”. The thing partially torn my index fingernail — I was bleeding! Dirty Harry, I am not. Maybe with enough practice I could be, but shooting is a very expensive hobby! Oh well, at least now I’m confident enough that if I had to, I could really mess someone up so long as I have a light enough gun for my girlie sissy-pants hands. Hey, I can’t physically run or jump, so when the zombie apocalypse comes (minus the one that already happened in Lorain) I have to think about these things. My husband is learning some combat and choke holds, so you would totally want us on your team when the end of the world happens.

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