I’m Just the Decoration

I was going through some old films and videos recently, trying hard to transfer all my beautiful Super8 footage — alas the seizure inducing flicker it emits is too much without a projector anymore. I came across a lot of old films that other students at CalArts had made of me. I was the go-to female protagonist that was really meant for decoration and eye candy; the focal point that did just about everything except talk. Some of these films made rounds at the festivals, and some were just meant for assignments or reels.

I found some of these images from a film shot at my parents house in Dana Point. I must be about 19 or 20? I forget what or who this was for, but I think it was footage meant to later be distorted and used as a film within a film. These were shot by Jerome Dunn aka Jerry the Priest, I think. What I do remember was having to do all my own hair, make-up, and the clothes belong to my mom…

except the leopard dress, I made that….

Well, revisiting all these films must have invoked something in the air, because I’m about to be a SAG paid actress — for one major film at least. I don’t want to give too many details because the production is happening as we speak, but it has been a surreal time. Not only are several of my paintings featured in the film, and not only did the talent buy a few pieces, but I was cast on the spot for some minor bits and pieces. It all happened because the lead actress feel in love with a portrait of mine (the one on my blog banner, actually) that appears on the menus at The Velvet Tango Room. So, I showed up on set to collect my artwork after they filmed it, I was wearing a Motorhead t-shirt and leopard skirt, and before I knew it, I was doing a scene and having a close-up over and over and over and over again. I guess my hair color and the cane sealed the deal.

Now I am being fitted for costume, and I get to have a little speaking part. I had done extra work a lot from college up through my early 20’s — I can’t count how many shoots I’ve done, but a fair number. This is more exciting because I actually have to talk and scream and, well, do stuff! That said, I am being reminded what hard work it can actually be, and a scene you spent 7 hours on can get cut in post-production just like that. I have been pushed to be an actress by family and friends for a long time, it was never something I was super ambitious about, but maybe I should just embrace it? We’ll see how it goes!