Kill Your Telelvision

I was house sitting this past weekend and got to indulge in cable for the first time in a long while. I now remember why I don’t want, or pay for, cable. I’m amazed so many households consider cable to be a utility; I’ve seriously heard people refer to it as such on multiple occasions as though it is a divine right, or otherwise they are being denied something in life if they don’t have cable or satellite. Electric, water, and trash pick-up are needs and not wants. Oh America!

Here’s what I have learned so far after rotting my brain watching cable for almost 2 days: There’s a show with old rich skanks in NYC who act like they are 14. There’s a show about cooks in a prison. There’s a show about auditioning to be a guard at a prison. There’s a show about people who have a lot of junk in their house and are gross. There’s a show about stupid women who can’t decide on a wedding gown and make a big deal about it. There’s a show about people who are having an oh-so tough time finding a $400,000 house that meets their needs. There’s a show about a guy that travels around eating really gross and unusual food items. There’s a show about guys who knock up their girlfriends and get put through all these tests to make them a “good dad”. There’s a show about truckers, on ice. There was also a show about fainting goats, and it appears Cribs is still around  — or on re-runs at the very least — because Tommy Lee was showing off his pool where that toddler drowned at his son’s birthday party.

I ended up watching the 1939 movie “The Women” to remember what it sounds like when smart and witty people talk.