Irking Me

  • The fact that the new Target by me has 36 handicapped parking spaces at the front of the store (eating too much pie doesn’t make you handicapped!) and that no matter what time of day it is, there is only one register open.
  • Buying anything at Staples turns into a big production and takes longer than a grocery store. Not to mention the most bizarre and creepy people who shop there.
  • That people are lame enough to actually trust this dude. You know he’s posing at some car museum pretending that ride is his.
  • Shopping at Pat Catan’s. The worst and most depressing craft/art supply retailer in the world! I’ve worked at a few supply stores in my time, and nothing says white trash hell hole quite like this place. When a shakey dude in military garb is following you around to each aisle asking “what kinda paint do I use if I wanna paint some rocks and swords?” and then says “I’m not following you, I’m not!” it is time to go! There’s a reason I do my shopping online. I am reminded of a statement made to me by a co-worker once (a co-worker that wore Christmas sweaters mind you): “well, no offense, but I don’t see the point in buying art. I mean, for a fraction of the price I can buy a paint-by-numbers kit or needle point template, and I’d rather spend money on something I made myself”
  • The check cashing commercials that are on all day. Or worse, those “debit cards” you can buy at the drugstore or order by phone for the losers who think they are safer than banks, and that you need to be rich to have a bank account in the first place. Do they not teach any kind of personal finance classes in middle school or high school anymore?
  • Cleveland drivers. Seriously, you people are the stupidest jackass drivers I have ever come across in my life! Having driven or lived in Orange County, L.A., Boston, San Francisco, New York, Ann Arbor, and driving cross-country twice; I have never encountered road rage anywhere like I have in Cleveland to the point where twice I have nearly gotten out of my car to beat someone with a maglite flashlight, and nearly ran someone off into a ditch — all Death Race 2000 style — after they almost killed me in a tunnel. There is no reason the drivers do what they do other than pure stupidity here. For real. Sometimes I wish I was a cop, just so I could bust the stuff I see daily.

This commercial. Between the newly pressed girly Nirvana t-shirt and the butchered cover (that was a cover song to begin with) I don’t even know where to begin. The 80s sucked the first time around kids, let us not do that again please? Okay I always thought this video was both scary and fun, but remember when things were new? When fashion was new? Are we really going to repeat Grunge and then Rave culture this soon?

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